TRANSCANADA IMMIGRATION AND EDUCATION CONSULTANCY
The Joy of Parenting
by Jehmar Tabili - CPA in DOHA Qatar
“Jiro!!!! “
I cannot make my voice louder as usual as I am suffering from colds and cough for a reason I cannot fathom until now. I was trying to stop him from throwing some of his toys scattered all over the sala area (bad for Mistro Sider and Pats who are scheduled to clean the whole house tonight) into the television where Mickey Mouse Club House had been repeatedly played for the nth time now.
“Jiro!!!.”
As if testing my patience, again he throws the Thomas and Friends caricature queued on the plastic rails designed for it to be played. Imagine a train flying like the AED 50 helicopter purchased in Dragon Mart in Dubai. Or imagine the pride of Early Center Parking Garage cars flooding the scattered pieces of puzzle he is also currently playing.
Jiro (Jersho Markiel) is my firstborn child, and son. He is three, a toddler, active, musician himself (he scored 100% in the videooke and he can sing Black Eyed Peas’ Boom Boom Pow in a kiddy language), and naughty. My wife, Marj, always tease me that his naughtiness is from my genes which I dearly accept. He can play play station 3 (instead of racing against time in a motocross, he wants to kill his character). But really naughty. N-A-U-G-H-T-Y. He can mum the lines in the movie avatar, Narnia, and Herbie which I might not be capable of even if I have watched similar movies in number of times.
Of course, I have another child, Mishaila Josette, running to 7 months (not 3 months stated in an album in Facebook) but her being a Maria Clara is still dominant on her, well at least for now. Both of them with my wife are already sleeping. I am just waiting for Jiro to decide this today as the day, and we can join them at bed.
“Yehey”. Jiro just uttered the familiar joyfulness cheer as he has completed the 50 pieces puzzle. Yes, even though he is naughty, these simple things that he does – to ask you to clap for him whenever he successfully completed a course, to say “Galing ah” (excellent) whenever he fixed his toys (that is seldom), or shout 3 points whenever he was able to make a long shot in a designed for him basketball court outside-are just satisfying.
This is parenthood, and some of my classmates maybe in elementary, secondary and the 7 shots can agree also with me. Sometimes I just smile at how life is reformed from being a dumb high school student fighting the pressure of poverty and dictating a rubber shoes tongue to get inside through a borrowed rugby from the neighborhood and press it using the bamboo crafted chair to a person, well in abroad right now. I am just fascinated by the idea that while we are not yet parents, we enjoy what our parents can endure for us, without, more often than not, an ounce of appreciation thrown to them ( I do not discount myself to that); and when we become parents, we come to realize and empathize how they have felt when we are toddlers troubling them. Well of course, during our time, pampers are only for those who can afford.
I have been “unemployed” for a week now and have been observing my son grow rapidly-physically, emotionally, mentally, and socially. He is tall for his age, he doesn’t want me to carry his ading (little sister), he knows how to color an Arabic picture, and he says Hi to every neighborhood whenever we go out. Of course, I would be glad to share that he only wants me to bath him, change his nappies, his clothes, feed him. Good that he doesn’t ask me to cook for him as that is one of my weaknesses though. This clever idea to bring him with me when I made a follow up on my Police Clearance here in Doha had worked. Well, it is paid with a two hour play in Fun City in City Center, where for the first time, we didn’t go in the toilet after a five-minute activity to change the nappies as he is fond of this. This is his outlet of the excitement he feels whenever he is at this playgrounds. I wonder if he is as excited as this when we go to church as he also does it even before we bump inside Padji, our car. And speaking of Padji car, this morning, I appreciated his gesture of accompanying me in vacuuming it but it turned out that it was a bad day for him as he, as usual taken care of the instruments inside, and while I am outside, took the lighter, and presto, lit his left index finger. Now he is incapacitated by a left hand. Pity.
Those parents whose experience of nourishing their kids is more than three years – maybe a decade, or higher than that – may always have the right to say “That is still far from the number of my experiences with my children,” Well that is true, and I will not challenge that. I have yet to face looking up for their bags, uniforms, budgeting their allowances etc., and I think I am prepared to that.
I have been informed that my high school batch mates are also blessed with kids, some of them are blessed with two sons, one son and one daughter, or two daughters, or maybe more, or may be none at all and still waiting. Even my college batch mates have already been poured with kids, and yes, they (our children) might end up in the same course again. Well, if they would want to pursue finance, then why not, I will not mingle on that. Jong, a former colleague, bachelor (to my single lady friends, contact me for his number), might be encouraged to have one but as I always say to him, one should always be prepared when having family, as family involves parenting, so as the parenting chain requiring preparation, then the cycle. Marj when we knotted in 2006 had been constantly commenting that her biological clock is ready and up to raise a family. That biological clock, I believe, should not run out of battery, as parenting, according to my parents, is a lifetime job – yet an accomplishment.
During these unemployment days (weeks, hopefully won’t resort to months), I am in charge of Jiro because he does not want me literally to take care of Misha. I am feeding him, bathing him, playing with him, singing with him, and I had to admit, spanking him (but not too much ) whenever he is already too short of putting himself in danger. I am not complaining though, but I am enjoying (but I am still wishing that my pre-employment requirements would be finalized soon). This is the first time that I am as close and attached with him emotionally, and I can feel that he, too, is enjoying it. He wakes me up at 9 am (well don’t think that I sleep too much) and invites me out, not minding the headache and cough I have been suffering for the past two days. I brought him this morning in Fun Center in City Center, well not as a reward for burning his finger but to pacify him for the boredom he had been feeling (yesterday was sand storm here) . Additionally, I am trying to make up for the days that I am away from him (them) during the numerous travels in Dubai.
I just hope the soonest that he will understand that my attention is also longed by my daughter. But that might still take time. Patience.
My mother used to tell me when I was still a kid (I still feel like a kid though) that I can only repay them when I am having my own family. The question then is “Have I repaid them now that I am having one?” Na-a. For me, I cannot repay whatever they have done to me-their sacrifices, their sweats, their visit to some of the relatives to borrow some money to meet the financial requirement of schooling. I had recently posted that my children might be more blessed than us because they may not in their lifetime experience the hardship we have had during our child hood days, but I constantly remind myself, my wife, and the Camit couple, that there is always a risk involved in this – that in as much as we wanted the better (or best) for them- that we would not want them to pass on the poverty of yester years – they might end up not working too hard for what has to be achieved by them. Well, some of the mothers in my account have already commented on this.
It is almost 12 in the midnight in Doha, but Jiro is not bothered. He woke up from a nap of four hours a while ago and I am sure it will take some more time for him to lay down in bed. Hey wait a sec, he is carrying the controller of the PS3 trying to throw it towards the wall.
“Jiro, No!”
He ran towards the toilet, and peed in the bowl (avoiding his shorts to be wet).
Now I am coughing.
“Jiro!!!! “
I cannot make my voice louder as usual as I am suffering from colds and cough for a reason I cannot fathom until now. I was trying to stop him from throwing some of his toys scattered all over the sala area (bad for Mistro Sider and Pats who are scheduled to clean the whole house tonight) into the television where Mickey Mouse Club House had been repeatedly played for the nth time now.
“Jiro!!!.”
As if testing my patience, again he throws the Thomas and Friends caricature queued on the plastic rails designed for it to be played. Imagine a train flying like the AED 50 helicopter purchased in Dragon Mart in Dubai. Or imagine the pride of Early Center Parking Garage cars flooding the scattered pieces of puzzle he is also currently playing.
Jiro (Jersho Markiel) is my firstborn child, and son. He is three, a toddler, active, musician himself (he scored 100% in the videooke and he can sing Black Eyed Peas’ Boom Boom Pow in a kiddy language), and naughty. My wife, Marj, always tease me that his naughtiness is from my genes which I dearly accept. He can play play station 3 (instead of racing against time in a motocross, he wants to kill his character). But really naughty. N-A-U-G-H-T-Y. He can mum the lines in the movie avatar, Narnia, and Herbie which I might not be capable of even if I have watched similar movies in number of times.
Of course, I have another child, Mishaila Josette, running to 7 months (not 3 months stated in an album in Facebook) but her being a Maria Clara is still dominant on her, well at least for now. Both of them with my wife are already sleeping. I am just waiting for Jiro to decide this today as the day, and we can join them at bed.
“Yehey”. Jiro just uttered the familiar joyfulness cheer as he has completed the 50 pieces puzzle. Yes, even though he is naughty, these simple things that he does – to ask you to clap for him whenever he successfully completed a course, to say “Galing ah” (excellent) whenever he fixed his toys (that is seldom), or shout 3 points whenever he was able to make a long shot in a designed for him basketball court outside-are just satisfying.
This is parenthood, and some of my classmates maybe in elementary, secondary and the 7 shots can agree also with me. Sometimes I just smile at how life is reformed from being a dumb high school student fighting the pressure of poverty and dictating a rubber shoes tongue to get inside through a borrowed rugby from the neighborhood and press it using the bamboo crafted chair to a person, well in abroad right now. I am just fascinated by the idea that while we are not yet parents, we enjoy what our parents can endure for us, without, more often than not, an ounce of appreciation thrown to them ( I do not discount myself to that); and when we become parents, we come to realize and empathize how they have felt when we are toddlers troubling them. Well of course, during our time, pampers are only for those who can afford.
I have been “unemployed” for a week now and have been observing my son grow rapidly-physically, emotionally, mentally, and socially. He is tall for his age, he doesn’t want me to carry his ading (little sister), he knows how to color an Arabic picture, and he says Hi to every neighborhood whenever we go out. Of course, I would be glad to share that he only wants me to bath him, change his nappies, his clothes, feed him. Good that he doesn’t ask me to cook for him as that is one of my weaknesses though. This clever idea to bring him with me when I made a follow up on my Police Clearance here in Doha had worked. Well, it is paid with a two hour play in Fun City in City Center, where for the first time, we didn’t go in the toilet after a five-minute activity to change the nappies as he is fond of this. This is his outlet of the excitement he feels whenever he is at this playgrounds. I wonder if he is as excited as this when we go to church as he also does it even before we bump inside Padji, our car. And speaking of Padji car, this morning, I appreciated his gesture of accompanying me in vacuuming it but it turned out that it was a bad day for him as he, as usual taken care of the instruments inside, and while I am outside, took the lighter, and presto, lit his left index finger. Now he is incapacitated by a left hand. Pity.
Those parents whose experience of nourishing their kids is more than three years – maybe a decade, or higher than that – may always have the right to say “That is still far from the number of my experiences with my children,” Well that is true, and I will not challenge that. I have yet to face looking up for their bags, uniforms, budgeting their allowances etc., and I think I am prepared to that.
I have been informed that my high school batch mates are also blessed with kids, some of them are blessed with two sons, one son and one daughter, or two daughters, or maybe more, or may be none at all and still waiting. Even my college batch mates have already been poured with kids, and yes, they (our children) might end up in the same course again. Well, if they would want to pursue finance, then why not, I will not mingle on that. Jong, a former colleague, bachelor (to my single lady friends, contact me for his number), might be encouraged to have one but as I always say to him, one should always be prepared when having family, as family involves parenting, so as the parenting chain requiring preparation, then the cycle. Marj when we knotted in 2006 had been constantly commenting that her biological clock is ready and up to raise a family. That biological clock, I believe, should not run out of battery, as parenting, according to my parents, is a lifetime job – yet an accomplishment.
During these unemployment days (weeks, hopefully won’t resort to months), I am in charge of Jiro because he does not want me literally to take care of Misha. I am feeding him, bathing him, playing with him, singing with him, and I had to admit, spanking him (but not too much ) whenever he is already too short of putting himself in danger. I am not complaining though, but I am enjoying (but I am still wishing that my pre-employment requirements would be finalized soon). This is the first time that I am as close and attached with him emotionally, and I can feel that he, too, is enjoying it. He wakes me up at 9 am (well don’t think that I sleep too much) and invites me out, not minding the headache and cough I have been suffering for the past two days. I brought him this morning in Fun Center in City Center, well not as a reward for burning his finger but to pacify him for the boredom he had been feeling (yesterday was sand storm here) . Additionally, I am trying to make up for the days that I am away from him (them) during the numerous travels in Dubai.
I just hope the soonest that he will understand that my attention is also longed by my daughter. But that might still take time. Patience.
My mother used to tell me when I was still a kid (I still feel like a kid though) that I can only repay them when I am having my own family. The question then is “Have I repaid them now that I am having one?” Na-a. For me, I cannot repay whatever they have done to me-their sacrifices, their sweats, their visit to some of the relatives to borrow some money to meet the financial requirement of schooling. I had recently posted that my children might be more blessed than us because they may not in their lifetime experience the hardship we have had during our child hood days, but I constantly remind myself, my wife, and the Camit couple, that there is always a risk involved in this – that in as much as we wanted the better (or best) for them- that we would not want them to pass on the poverty of yester years – they might end up not working too hard for what has to be achieved by them. Well, some of the mothers in my account have already commented on this.
It is almost 12 in the midnight in Doha, but Jiro is not bothered. He woke up from a nap of four hours a while ago and I am sure it will take some more time for him to lay down in bed. Hey wait a sec, he is carrying the controller of the PS3 trying to throw it towards the wall.
“Jiro, No!”
He ran towards the toilet, and peed in the bowl (avoiding his shorts to be wet).
Now I am coughing.
Jersho Markiel
Two more months!
The countdown has started. You are at hand.
Two more months!
The excitement keeps on coming very rigidly. You’re arrival is really evident. And by God’s grace, I can look directly in your eyes two months from now.
You seem so joyous these days. Most of the time, mama touches you in her belly and you try to extend your arms trying to unzip the barrier towards your tiny hands stretching towards hers. Most of the time, you swim in the wonders of a tiny pool of fluids in your free residence now. How can you do that? Really, it is a divine intervention. I have also felt your movements over Marj’s tummy, and it creates in me a tumultuous haste for a small movement of yours. Knock knock, are you ok in there?
We just visited you recently via an ultra sound performed to check your vital conditions. Although I was not given the opportunity to view you at a live posture, still we are thankful to the Creator that you are developing according to 29 weeks stay in the womb.
Last Saturday, January 20, 2007 was the first ever purchase (with cash outlay only) of your clothes and other paraphernalia. We have spent considerably number of hours going here and there in the pathways of Baby Shop in the Center Point of Al Saad. Ah, we have confirmed once again that purchasing some presents for the male gender is really difficult (e.g birthdays, parties, anniversaries). We have had limited shades of blue, green, white, cream. We will also make an addendum to the list with the color of dark red, and orange. Yet, we, your parents, are both excited to dress you up and be with us in the ride of 308925 Mitsubishi bound to the church most especially, or stroll in the Corniche, or fly with us to Philippines. And hey, you have caps too (a five or six I guess).
You will be named as JERSHO MARKIEL. JERSHO is from the Biblical Name GERSHOM which means stranger in foreign land and MARKIEL is from Biblical Name MALKIEL which means God is My King. We have chosen GERSHOM as the base as you will know upon your birth that because of life’s odds and difficulties, we have to leave our birth place and be workers in a land where, although high hopes are at the horizons, we are still sojourners. GERSHOM is the laymen’s term for OFW. MALKIEL was considered as seemingly His ministry may not be unbelievable here as this is a Muslim Country, but still His faithfulness abounds, that we are still able to worship Him daily.
Not unless, your tito’s and tita’s here in Friendster can suggest a better name which starts with J and M, this will be your name. Your nickname I will whisper it to you soon.
(Hi ka-friendsters, be part of this. Please suggest names, or give comments to above name).
February and March. Short time we wait and you will now fill up the empty space to the frame of our so called family.
See you after two weeks!
The countdown has started. You are at hand.
Two more months!
The excitement keeps on coming very rigidly. You’re arrival is really evident. And by God’s grace, I can look directly in your eyes two months from now.
You seem so joyous these days. Most of the time, mama touches you in her belly and you try to extend your arms trying to unzip the barrier towards your tiny hands stretching towards hers. Most of the time, you swim in the wonders of a tiny pool of fluids in your free residence now. How can you do that? Really, it is a divine intervention. I have also felt your movements over Marj’s tummy, and it creates in me a tumultuous haste for a small movement of yours. Knock knock, are you ok in there?
We just visited you recently via an ultra sound performed to check your vital conditions. Although I was not given the opportunity to view you at a live posture, still we are thankful to the Creator that you are developing according to 29 weeks stay in the womb.
Last Saturday, January 20, 2007 was the first ever purchase (with cash outlay only) of your clothes and other paraphernalia. We have spent considerably number of hours going here and there in the pathways of Baby Shop in the Center Point of Al Saad. Ah, we have confirmed once again that purchasing some presents for the male gender is really difficult (e.g birthdays, parties, anniversaries). We have had limited shades of blue, green, white, cream. We will also make an addendum to the list with the color of dark red, and orange. Yet, we, your parents, are both excited to dress you up and be with us in the ride of 308925 Mitsubishi bound to the church most especially, or stroll in the Corniche, or fly with us to Philippines. And hey, you have caps too (a five or six I guess).
You will be named as JERSHO MARKIEL. JERSHO is from the Biblical Name GERSHOM which means stranger in foreign land and MARKIEL is from Biblical Name MALKIEL which means God is My King. We have chosen GERSHOM as the base as you will know upon your birth that because of life’s odds and difficulties, we have to leave our birth place and be workers in a land where, although high hopes are at the horizons, we are still sojourners. GERSHOM is the laymen’s term for OFW. MALKIEL was considered as seemingly His ministry may not be unbelievable here as this is a Muslim Country, but still His faithfulness abounds, that we are still able to worship Him daily.
Not unless, your tito’s and tita’s here in Friendster can suggest a better name which starts with J and M, this will be your name. Your nickname I will whisper it to you soon.
(Hi ka-friendsters, be part of this. Please suggest names, or give comments to above name).
February and March. Short time we wait and you will now fill up the empty space to the frame of our so called family.
See you after two weeks!
AN ATTEMPT TO PLEASE
Back in the academe, I have earned several laurels in the writing field. As a matter of fact, I have gone to some various regions of the country with only my pen in my pocket as allowance because of this.
I am not very sure if I can acquire back my powers (like Super Islaw in TFC’s fave fantasy TV Series Super Inggo) in collecting the right words to translate what is in my mind right now into cursor-created letters. But I will be doing this for you. And as precise as I wish, I would like to describe you and the feeling you carry in groups of adjectives which you can easily grasp, adjectives that will make you smile (and cry a bit?), adjectives (in plural form) so you will feel that as early as now, we are waiting for you, and indeed caring for you.
You came as scheduled and prayed – me about to pasture a greener one and our better half is emotionally groomed to be you in hers. You came to start the next generation of your Mama’s brood and in your Dadut’s clan, the first Dagul. Every body cheered, loved ones back in our original race, or even here at the Gulf, and your news have reached also the European continent. Yes, all were anticipating for your arrival, with no luggage at all but your presence.
Would you be our Super Inggo Pareng Budong (without the inherited literal Super Powers) who will help his parents at his young age? Or would you contest with your Mama in swiping Game Ka Na Ba’s apparatus to bag a million? Or would you sing with me in the chorale or in a duet, or press with me the calculator? Or would you rather make a choice either between basketball or tennis where your Qatar Titos crave for? Aha, I am quite sure you will dream of driving either the Lancer or the Kepoy! Most of your future grandparents wish you to avoid, though, the density of our clan’s legacy and identity. But if He allows, I pray you will sincerely use this as charm and magic.
We have confirmed that you are coming with an assurance that you are going to spread our looks (Whew!). Through you, it is indeed a confirmation of His words that if we pray very specifically, it will be granted us the same provided the prayer should have reached His glory with faith and trust. Yes, we have asked it and indeed, He is good that He granted our prayers.
Yesterday while we dip our eyes into your temporary domicile, we cannot push ourselves not to smile as you have already developed normally. Yes, through technological advancement, your physical body built had been enhanced and we are thankful that He has made your stages not complicated especially to your Mama. Now you have been there like a professional swimmer 50% of your span inside. You are truly a manifestation of divine magnificent movement as life starts only at a union. We are thankful that your head size is normal, your tiny feet and hands are in the normal measure, too. It seemed you smiled and winked when I told your physician that you might be jolly in as much as jolly and happy parents bring jolly and happy offspring too. Which perfume you will want? Hugo Boss? Lacoste? Bench? Drakkar? Name it and you have to work hard for it to attain it.
You know what, your Mama even claimed that you might be playing basketball inside beating the buzzer as she feels at this stage your movements. However, most of the times, you seem to be very peaceful, calm, and quiet-which a life ought to be. I thought if one could go back into the stage where this situation is evident, he will temporarily avoid the hassles outside. He will temporarily enjoy the innocence you are experiencing right now. Yes you are peaceful, and we promise of a same life when you are brought out. You are calm and with His help, this will continue until we can confirm our being a family.
We won’t forsake you of the stories of the hardships we have experienced during our road works to the challenges of life-there will be lots of them! We hope this will teach you to value the lesson of poverty, to give importance to determination and courage, to guide you to be anchored in Him and be with Him no matter what happens, and for you to cherish education why you have to go through these. Although, by faith, we will not let you experience the hardship, there will be some twists for your own good. We can discuss this as soon as you arrive.
My son, our son, your journey of life is about to come, if not started. My child, our child, you will soon be brought to the open in a matter of months. And yes, many are eager, longing, waiting for you to smile the dash, cry the bursts, and sing your tiny music. Many want to carry you, some of the toddlers in the horizon want to play with you. Maybe, some have their gifts in store already for you. But most, we your parents are more than eager to hug and hold you, warm and wrap you, to care, clap and cheer you.
My son, back in the academe, I have earned several laurels in the writing fields. As a matter of fact, I have earned several laurels in this field, and have gone to some various regions of the countries with only my pen in my pocket as allowance because of this. But things have changed-‘twas quite hard now, ‘twas quite difficult now. I can’t pick up my style and feature. But since this is an attempt to please you, this is done.
Written by Jehmar Tabili
I am not very sure if I can acquire back my powers (like Super Islaw in TFC’s fave fantasy TV Series Super Inggo) in collecting the right words to translate what is in my mind right now into cursor-created letters. But I will be doing this for you. And as precise as I wish, I would like to describe you and the feeling you carry in groups of adjectives which you can easily grasp, adjectives that will make you smile (and cry a bit?), adjectives (in plural form) so you will feel that as early as now, we are waiting for you, and indeed caring for you.
You came as scheduled and prayed – me about to pasture a greener one and our better half is emotionally groomed to be you in hers. You came to start the next generation of your Mama’s brood and in your Dadut’s clan, the first Dagul. Every body cheered, loved ones back in our original race, or even here at the Gulf, and your news have reached also the European continent. Yes, all were anticipating for your arrival, with no luggage at all but your presence.
Would you be our Super Inggo Pareng Budong (without the inherited literal Super Powers) who will help his parents at his young age? Or would you contest with your Mama in swiping Game Ka Na Ba’s apparatus to bag a million? Or would you sing with me in the chorale or in a duet, or press with me the calculator? Or would you rather make a choice either between basketball or tennis where your Qatar Titos crave for? Aha, I am quite sure you will dream of driving either the Lancer or the Kepoy! Most of your future grandparents wish you to avoid, though, the density of our clan’s legacy and identity. But if He allows, I pray you will sincerely use this as charm and magic.We have confirmed that you are coming with an assurance that you are going to spread our looks (Whew!). Through you, it is indeed a confirmation of His words that if we pray very specifically, it will be granted us the same provided the prayer should have reached His glory with faith and trust. Yes, we have asked it and indeed, He is good that He granted our prayers.
Yesterday while we dip our eyes into your temporary domicile, we cannot push ourselves not to smile as you have already developed normally. Yes, through technological advancement, your physical body built had been enhanced and we are thankful that He has made your stages not complicated especially to your Mama. Now you have been there like a professional swimmer 50% of your span inside. You are truly a manifestation of divine magnificent movement as life starts only at a union. We are thankful that your head size is normal, your tiny feet and hands are in the normal measure, too. It seemed you smiled and winked when I told your physician that you might be jolly in as much as jolly and happy parents bring jolly and happy offspring too. Which perfume you will want? Hugo Boss? Lacoste? Bench? Drakkar? Name it and you have to work hard for it to attain it.
You know what, your Mama even claimed that you might be playing basketball inside beating the buzzer as she feels at this stage your movements. However, most of the times, you seem to be very peaceful, calm, and quiet-which a life ought to be. I thought if one could go back into the stage where this situation is evident, he will temporarily avoid the hassles outside. He will temporarily enjoy the innocence you are experiencing right now. Yes you are peaceful, and we promise of a same life when you are brought out. You are calm and with His help, this will continue until we can confirm our being a family.
We won’t forsake you of the stories of the hardships we have experienced during our road works to the challenges of life-there will be lots of them! We hope this will teach you to value the lesson of poverty, to give importance to determination and courage, to guide you to be anchored in Him and be with Him no matter what happens, and for you to cherish education why you have to go through these. Although, by faith, we will not let you experience the hardship, there will be some twists for your own good. We can discuss this as soon as you arrive.
My son, our son, your journey of life is about to come, if not started. My child, our child, you will soon be brought to the open in a matter of months. And yes, many are eager, longing, waiting for you to smile the dash, cry the bursts, and sing your tiny music. Many want to carry you, some of the toddlers in the horizon want to play with you. Maybe, some have their gifts in store already for you. But most, we your parents are more than eager to hug and hold you, warm and wrap you, to care, clap and cheer you.
My son, back in the academe, I have earned several laurels in the writing fields. As a matter of fact, I have earned several laurels in this field, and have gone to some various regions of the countries with only my pen in my pocket as allowance because of this. But things have changed-‘twas quite hard now, ‘twas quite difficult now. I can’t pick up my style and feature. But since this is an attempt to please you, this is done.
Written by Jehmar Tabili
Am I Unfair to Her? - an article written by a FATHER
A Father's Day SPECIAL
Okay, let me make it straight – don’t panic yet. This is not something to do with my marriage with Marj, however, it is my original composition for my second child, and first daughter, Misha.
Mishaila Josette, born in Al Ahli Hospital via Caesarian Section on November 14, 2009, has recently turned seven months. Through the combined insurance of me and Marj’, she was born in quite deluxe hospital, as compared to Jiro, my firstborn, who was born in government hospital here in Doha. Well, her arrival was not, okay, planned, but her arrival has changed everything, and her addition to the family had brought delight to the picture frame I have been imagining when I was still younger. I should be not forgetting that my mother-in-law, Mama Tess, flew back in Doha, after the news, while my sister In Norway, Gloriecel and her family, were also on visit here during that day.
Her arrival has changed everything. The first time I carried her in my arms, Jiro was crying. And that is still until now, he does not want me to carry her (recently I got his permission to carry her). Her arrival was astounding as well, that this was the day that I had to first make a decision on my professional career, but still, despite that, we still enjoyed her coming. Preparation time to go to church, malls, parties have increased. Bigger bags have been used. Yet my wife cannot forget the time that I had played tennis while they are both resting. Well, my parents were there. Sounds like an excuse? Hu-hum.
During these days, Misha had already figured out that I am her father, and she already prefers me over the others to carry her, but only after my wife and my mother-in-law in the order of hierarchy.
Some of my colleagues were commenting that the scenario of the first born asking for the same attention similar before the arrival of the second is just but normal. That while the second baby requires only physical attention, the first one needs more physical, psychological, and emotional attention to let him embrace the new family member. Yet recently, I have had the time comparing my feelings during his arrival and hers.
This is my first essay to Misha, and that is 7 months after her delivery. I have attempted to craft an original composition three months after his conception. (See separate note or this link- http://babykid090407.blogspot.com/). See, I even created this for him in a site. Well, I was more busy when she arrived. But was I?
Both of them have inherited my magic thick eyebrows. They say that this might be an asset to the boy, but to my daughter, she might always ask me why I have it, and she had it. In fairness, they both have fair complexion which might be complimentary to my wife, and I thank it very much.
As to date, I only changed her nappies twice, the second time was only the other day when my wife had left and that my mother in law has not arrived in the house. I remembered I already changed my son’s diaper at his first month when Marj and my mother went for medical exam for her visit visa renewal.
Well, those parents who have more than one child might either condemn me for my earlier actions, or understand me. But please wait till this article is finished.
I can clearly recall that when he arrived, every time I travel outside Doha, I see to it that he has something. However, before I got “unemployed” and still had these trips in Dubai, I still see to it that he will have something, and if I cannot find something for her, I will just quickly have this thought of she is still young and won’t understand yet. But still, on that aspect, am I unfair to her? Yet I purchased a small doll for her, several feminine blocks, and an infant radio, but these are incomparable to the things I have purchased when he was at the age same like hers now.
Every time I arrive from Dubai, my son used to scream shouting my name upon opening the doors. He will hug me and kiss me, and will go to my baggage expecting for his Dubai present. My daughter, ironically, will only look at me, like one of the housemates or neighbors, and will cry as soon as I offer my hands to carry her. It will take within the day for her to recall her dada (by that time, Jiro’s present is already either damaged or destroyed). However, immediately after her refusal, I attend to Jiro who is already curiously opening his new additional toys.
Of course, people who are on my side will say “Yes Jehmar you are right, she is still young for those. She won’t understand. ” But does your number be reduced when I reveal that in the evening before all are set to bed, I do not prepare the milk formula for her, Marj does it? They both take their milk at the wee of the night and Marj should be counting in the wee of the night how many scoops of powdered milk she had already mixed with the baby water. This should have been easier for her if I could have made it ready earlier as what I do to his milk – which is already prepared before all of us snore. One time Marj commented “Indeed, you love him more than Misha.” But I have commented that I just don’t know the measurements. Another excuse? And why should I not know? Or should I know?
To recall, my peers were backing me up that the boy needs more attention other than physical one needed by the baby girl. But are these my excuses when I bring my son in the play grounds in malls, leaving my little girl on sight following us only whenever we bid goodbye on her? Yes of course she is still incapable of playing like a toddler but this brings me to another question do I also have had quality time with her? Yes I have had but it is always interrupted by the baby boy wanting me to give her to other person, so that I can attend to her. Or does he really demanding it, or was only me wanting it?
Before you will write negative comments, let me also mention that of course, I carry her to sleep every time my wife cannot bring her to sleep, or she is too tired from work. As a matter of fact, the song – Let’s Talk About Jesus Medley – I used to sing when he was at the same age like her, is the same song I am using till now. This is plus the various dancing steps. But take note, the little boy should be asleep, or should be attended by wife as well. But still, I have this third ear trying to listen to his alms for me to come back and if it is still he is crying, I return her to Marj and I play with his emotion till he stops.
One time both of them have cried and Marj was outside. Make a guess whom I have attended first? Ehem. Well, I am not that bad. I attended first to Misha, carried her, tried to pacify Jiro with her on my arms, and when still he wanted me to get rid of her in the scene, I left him inside crying, gave Misha to Marj, and attended to him, much to his delight. This might be a perfect picture of my being a fair father to both of them – with the equal love given to them, with equal attention, with equal affection. But do I really have that? Or do I show it in my actions, well at least on Misha’s sights? How many photos of him and her in my Facebook and Friendster accounts? Or should that be considered to measure the love on your child? When I am making this composition, am I thinking about my second born child, or still the first born(the baby girl is already sleeping while my son is with me outside)? Or, better comparison might be is the earlier note dedicated to him better than this article? Or they are not just incomparable?
Misha have the eyes of my wife and my mother-in-law. Jiro only have mine. But should that be the measure?
Be the judge. Let me know.
The Author
Jehmar Tabili is an Certified Public Accountant in Qatar. See more of his PROFILE in facebook
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